Get a Sixth Grade Girl to Notice You

If you have a crush on a girl in sixth grade and you don’t know her that well, how do you get her to notice you in the first place? Learn how to talk to and interact with her in a kind and interested way so that she’ll take notice and maybe even be interested in you too!

Steps

Presenting Yourself to Catch Her Eye

  1. Look her in the eye to get her attention. Catch the eye of the girl you like, whether you’re in class or at a social gathering outside of school. Try to hold her gaze for as long as possible, and remember to smile while doing so!
    • If you’re shy or nervous and find it difficult to hold eye contact, try just catching her eye for a short period of time before looking away. Or, look at the center of her forehead or nose for the same effect if that’s easier.[1]
    • Avoid getting caught looking too much and getting distracted in class by making eye contact just a couple times per class period.
  2. Smile to let her know you're interested. Try to smile at the girl you like as much as possible, whether you’re passing her by in the hall, catch her attention in class, or you get to talk to her. Let her know you’re friendly and interested in interacting her with just a simple smile whenever you look at her.
    • Smiles are contagious! Chances are that she’ll smile back at you if you smile first, so you’ve got nothing to lose![2]
  3. Practice good hygiene to make a good impression. Be clean and fresh whenever you get to see or talk to her. Shower frequently to wash your body and hair, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, and put on deodorant.
    • If you choose to wear cologne or a highly scented deodorant or body spray, note that less is more. You don’t want the girl you like to notice you because she’s revolted by an overwhelming smell of cologne.
  4. Dress well to impress her. Choose clean clothes without a lot of wrinkles to wear to school or other places where you’ll see the girl you like. You don’t need to be extra stylish, just wear something comfortable that’s not stained or torn and fits you well.
    • You might not know her well yet, but if you know she likes a certain band, book, or movie, try wearing a t-shirt that features it. She might even strike up a conversation with you about it!
  5. Be confident around her. Before you even work up the courage to talk to the girl you like, you can project confidence in yourself that she will take notice of. Have good posture, with your head held held high and your shoulders back, make eye contact with people, and engage in what’s going on around you.
    • Confidence is very different from arrogance. Be confident by knowing that you are successful and a pleasant person to be around without acting like you are the best in the universe.
    • To help you feel confident on the inside, which will show on the outside, make an effort to accept compliments when people give them to you. Instead of brushing off your friend’s compliment of your shoes or shirt by saying, “Yeah, whatever, man,” just say, “Thanks, dude.” Also try making a list every day of five things, large or small, that you did well.[3]
  6. Write her a sweet note or letter. If you’re not quite ready to talk to her but still want her to notice you, try slipping a sweet or funny note into her locker, a school book, or someplace else she will find it.
    • You can leave your note or letter anonymous by signing it with a code name or word and tell her she has to figure out who it is through clues you give her in each letter.
    • Stick with a simple joke or compliment in your letters if you don’t want to be too forward with your feelings right away.

Talking to Her to Get Her Attention

  1. Get her to talk to you first. Observe her to see what kinds of books she reads, music she listens to, or teams she follows. Try picking up a book by the same author or wearing a t-shirt with the band or team she likes when you’re around her, and she might just strike up a conversation about it.[4]
    • Even if she doesn’t start talking to you, she will likely notice if you’re wearing, reading, or looking at something she’s interested in, too. Smile if she looks over at you, or even say “Hey, how’s it going?” to start up a conversation.
    • There’s no need to snoop or be overly observant to find out the things she likes. Just pay attention when you see her wearing, reading, or talking about something excitedly. Chances are you already like some of the same things, or would want to learn more about them.
  2. Ask her questions to get to know her. Start up a conversation more easily by having a question in mind to ask her. You can start with “Hey, how are you?” or “Hey, how’s it going?” but you can also be more specific with something like, “Hey, did you catch what the homework was for English? I missed it,” or, “Hey, did I see you at last week’s basketball game?”
    • Don’t be disappointed if your question doesn’t lead to much of a conversation or if you blank out on what to say after the question you had in mind. Just smile and thank her for talking to you before walking away. She’ll remember that you were nice and went out of your way to talk to her.
  3. Find what you have in common with her. If you strike up a conversation with her, ask her questions about her family, hobbies, school, movies, books, or sports and you are bound to find some things in common. Say, “I really like art too!” or “I have a big family as well; three older sisters and one younger brother.” She’ll remember these things, and take more notice of you in the future.
    • You can use subjects you find in common with her to strike up future conversations. For example, if you’re both into learning about bugs and insects, you could bring a book you found on the subject to school and tell her, “Hey, look, I found this book with really cool pictures of beetles. I thought you’d like since we had that conversation about how we both like bugs.”
    • Remember to be honest and tell her true things about yourself. Avoid the temptation to tell small lies or say you like something just because she likes it. The truth will only come out and make you look bad later if she continues to talk to you and get to know you better.
  4. Show her your intelligence and wit. Let the girl know that you’re smart and funny by sharing fun facts, participating with answers in class, and telling jokes. Share the things you’re knowledgeable about with her and tell her a new joke when you talk to her.
    • Never downplay your intelligence or “play dumb” to get the attention of the girl you like or to seem cooler around your friends.
    • Avoid boasting about the things you know or trying too hard with silly jokes. Just make funny observations, engage in school, and don’t pretend to know a lot about something unless you really do!
  5. Listen to her and be polite. Give her your full attention and listen carefully when she talks to you to show her that you really care what she has to say. Use polite language like “please” and “thank you” when you’re asking her a question, and wish her a good night or weekend when you’re parting ways.
    • Kindness and respect can really make you stand out if other people she knows just try to tease her or end up being mean to get her attention. Everyone likes to be listened to and respected, and being mean is an immature way to get noticed.
    • Remember things she says that you can bring up in later conversations. If she talks about a TV show she likes, you can start another conversation the next week saying, “Hey, did you see that there was a marathon of that show you like on TV yesterday?”
  6. Avoid teasing her. Show you are more mature than other boys by not engaging in some of the things you might see other boys doing, like teasing or taunting girls to get their attention. Know that girls mature sooner than boys, so even if you’re in sixth grade too, a sixth grade girl may be going through changes that you don’t know about yet.[5]
    • Never tease a girl about her body or call her bad names that you hear on TV or from other boys. The girl will not respond well or like you at all if you do these things. Instead, use respectful and polite language with her, and give her compliments on aspects of her personality, like her sense of humor or her taste in music, rather than on her appearance.
    • If you talk to her about how you like her or ask to go on a date or start a relationship and she says no, don’t get upset or mad. Respect her feelings and don’t bug her about it. Understand that she may not be ready for a relationship yet, could have mixed feelings about you, or just not have those feelings at all.[6]
    • Be friends with the girl if she’s not interested in dating or anything else with you.

Interacting and Being Around Her

  1. Participate in some of her activities. Join a club, sport, or other extracurricular activity that she does to spend more time around her and get to know her better. Talk to her about the club or sport, and even ask her for tips if you’re new and just learning about what you’re doing.
    • Avoid joining in on everything that the girl is a part of, as she might become suspicious or annoyed that you’re suddenly everywhere she goes. Instead, choose some of her activities that you are genuinely interested in getting involved with and learning more about.
  2. Sit next to her at lunch. Join her at a table at lunch, sit next to her in a class, or another occasion during or after school. You don’t need to sit right next to her at lunch, just at the same table and close enough that you can start a conversation and make eye contact with her.
    • Start with a simple “Hey, can I sit here?” Then you can move on to other easy topics, like school subjects or a school dance coming up. Don’t be afraid to talk to everyone else at the table, too, and not just her.
  3. Get to know her friends. Talk to her friends individually or when they’re in a group and get to know them by being kind, asking questions, and finding things in common, just like you do with her. Learn more about her through them, and she will notice and feel comfortable around you when you’re friendly with all of her friends, too.
    • Don’t worry about trying to get her alone and away from her friends if you always see her with them. It might be hard to talk to her with others around, but if you talk to everyone in the group, not just her, it will be a lot easier to feel comfortable with them and get chances later to catch her one-on-one.
  4. Stand or sit near her. When you’re in a group or sitting together, stand or sit near her so you can be ready to start a conversation. Don’t violate her personal space or boundaries, or touch her without permission, but you can let her know you’re there with a wave or come up closer to talk to her.
    • If you don’t want to get too close to her, you can still subtly mimic her body language to send a signal that you’re paying attention to her. If she crosses her arms, leans her head on her hand, or stands with her hands in her pockets while she’s talking to you, wait at least 20 seconds and do the same or something similar.[7]
  5. Beware of harassing a girl. Don’t engage in teasing or taunting behavior that you might see other boys doing to get a girl’s attention; she will not like you or be interested in you at all. Never touch her or her stuff without asking first, tease her with names, or say anything about her body. Treat her with respect and be kind to her if you want her attention.
    • You can get suspended or expelled from school or get into other major trouble for touching or harassing a girl, so don’t do it. Even calling her names or teasing her when you’re chatting on the computer or texting is wrong, could get you in trouble, and should never be done.
    • Don’t follow what you learn on TV or movies, from video games, or other boys your age or older if they talk about calling girls certain names or making any comments about how a girl’s body has changed or how it looks. Call a girl by her own name or what she prefers to be called, and say nice things to her, preferably about her personality rather than how she looks.
    • Be friends with a girl if she’s not interested in dating or anything else with you. Also listen to what she says and leave her alone entirely if she asks you to.

Warnings

  • Teasing, harassing, or touching a girl without her permission or in an inappropriate way will have the opposite effect of what you want, and can get you in serious trouble, even suspended or expelled from school.
  • Try not to get disappointed or bitter if a girl doesn’t notice you or return your level of interest or feelings. She might just be shy, not know how to talk to you, or not be interested in you, and that’s okay. Know that you are a great person with or without a girl.
  • Don’t change your personality or how you look and act for any girl. Trying too hard could turn her off, or she’ll become interested in you for something you’re really not.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.succeedsocially.com/eyecontact
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
  3. ↑ http://www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/chap14excerpt.htm
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201312/scientists-identify-why-girls-often-mature-faster-boys
  6. ↑ http://www.copingskills4kids.net/Changes.html
  7. ↑ http://www.blifaloo.com/info/flirting-body-language.php
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