Feel Confident About Being Intimate Again
It can be difficult to get back on the proverbial horse if you have fallen off, or maybe sworn off riding anymore. What do you do when this interest is rekindled? It is worth it to get intimate again, and you can do it with a little change in thinking. Here are some tips to get you started.
Contents
Steps
- Understand that confidence for you may come down to changing your mind and doing something different; anything different. You may have to change a habit of what may have "suddenly" become years. Virtually any step in a new direction will give you confidence.
- Pursue your interests and regain your passion about them. It's common, when intimacy is lost, to withdraw from familiarity with others, as well. A big step to regaining confidence is intimacy, and in general, will be re-engaging with others on a familiar level.
- You could join a club or group, work a piece of choice athletic equipment up a popular trail, or volunteering. Whatever you choose, make sure it's something you enjoy participating in, and that is fulfilling for you. Allow a couple weeks of doing something new before you make any judgements, as you may find yourself out of your comfort zone.
- Stay open to all possibilities. In the course of being vital, it wouldn't hurt you to turn up the antenna a little bit. If you're doing something you love, you'll be glowing, and you'll tend to radiate more attractiveness as a result. This will be picked up by others around you, and they'll be inspired.
- If you already have a "beau", all of this will just make you more attractive to them.
- Recognize the psychological boost of even a small improvement in body or mind. In other words, take full advantage of losing 8 pounds, and being noticed for it; or pursue some other, equally modest but worthwhile achievement. Looked at a certain way, a step in any direction is a step you hadn't taken. Tiny little steps will get you up a mountain. Recognizing and celebrating the achievements of your life as you're bumping into Mr. or Ms. Right is possibly your best visualization technique right now.
- Understand that at your probable age, the antenna is usually tuned to a finer frequency. At your age you are much more likely to be attracted to the different aspects of people; and this means that you may be most attracted to people that feel the same way. In turn, recognizing that your intimacy will encompass more than mere lust or self-satisfaction can help you to feel greater confidence about sharing more time and more of yourself with someone else.
- Pursue a setting that will maximize your confidence. For most people, this would mean being intimate in an environment that you feel safe and comfortable within. Whether your intimacy consists of getting to know another person through conversation, through physical exploration, through spending time together achieving something, or through spiritual connection, the place where you become more intimate matters. For some, this place of comfort will likely be your own house; however, personal considerations might dictate that you do the opposite, and find somewhere that isn't so deeply connected with your past for starters.
- Gauge the timing of becoming more intimate with another person according to your own needs and self-recognition of readiness. You are old enough to know when you want to proceed now; and obviously, you may have some resistance to overcome, after years with one dedicated mate, and then perhaps years without someone in your life. Just be open in communicating this, and if you have chosen right, it will be understood.
- See that the "first time" now will likely be tougher than the "first time" was when you were much younger; you just have a wall to break down.
- While a little alcohol might relax your inhibitions in being more intimate with a person, if you aren't comfortable, yet, with your prospective beau, you won't be confident -- and that probably means it's just not quite time yet.
Tips
- Intimacy means different things to different people. That's fine and as it should be. What is great about being older is that you are open to this reality and don't perceive intimacy as simply being all about sexual connection. There are many ways to be intimate with another human being and you're free to explore them all, in your own time, and with people who "get" what you're seeking.
Warnings
- Avoid accepting second best experiences and relationships out of fear of aging. If you know what you want and what matters to you, you will attract the right people and experiences to you. On the other hand, you risk confusing signals and meaning if you give in to situations that aren't right for you simply out of fear of loss or longing. Use the wisdom you've gained over the decades to strengthen your resolve to do what's right by yourself!
