Tell a Girl You Like Her

You know that girl who makes you mumble or drop a stack of papers while talking to her? That girl you like but can't seem able to tell? Well, you're dying inside and the only solution is to tell her. Telling a girl you like her is simple, but is often complicated by muddled thinking. Stick to these simple steps for a great chance at success.

Steps

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

1. Get to know her as a friend before "making a move." You want to know someone before you get romantic. Think about why you like her so much -- what sorts of experiences and conversations brought you together? You want to both feel comfortable and friendly with each other. If you establish a respectful and kind friendship with her, she will be much more likely to like you back.
   • Ask her on casual dates, usually with other people. Try to hang out outside of work or school occasionally to develop a connection.
   • If she doesn't seem interested in acting like friends, or seems stand-offish, you should re-consider if she is someone you really want to spend a lot of time with.
2. Build a relationship off of common interests, finding common interests to bring your together as a couple. You'll need something to bond over, so find things that you both enjoy. It could be a hobby, sport, team, movie, musical style, anything at all. The only way you'll build a relationship together is if you can build off of a conversation, so get talking. This will give you something to talk about, but it will also show her that a relationship between the two of you could be fun.
3. Keep clean and well dressed to both look and feel confident. Hygiene is a sign that you care for yourself, and therefore that you're willing and able to care for her. Take a shower, brush your hair, use deodorant, brush your teeth, and generally try to be clean and tidy. Wear your favorite shirt and put a comb through your hair. This isn't just about her -- it is about you. Looking your best will help you feel your best.
   • Don't neglect things like facial hair and fingernails. Keep everything trim and tidy.
   • Smell fantastic, but don't overdo it. 1-2 spritz of cologne or body spray, max.
4. Smile, keep your head up, and pull your shoulders back to exude confidence. Smiling is our way of expressing happiness, and girls want to be with someone who is happy and carefree, not someone who is sad and sulky. The basics of strong body language are easy -- head up, spine straight, and shoulders back. Combined with a good smile, these simple steps are proven to be the most effective form of flirting you have.
5. Stay calm, even if you're nervous, by slowly counting to three in your head before talking or responding. Don't blurt out the first thing in your head! Slow down and take a breath before proceeding so you don't feel like a chicken with his head cut off. Remember that you should feel nervous. If you didn't you wouldn't really like her. So feel confident in your decision and the butterflies in your stomach -- they're telling you that you've made the right decision.
   • Try to slow down as you speak. It will keep everyone, you included, much calmer.
   • Keep smiling! Just the act of smiling actually makes you happier.

Telling Her

1. Think about what you want to say ahead of time, but keep it brief. You don't have to write a script or poem, or think of great jokes and stories. In fact, trying to manufacture the perfect "tell" is far too difficult and complicated for something that should come from the heart. Visualize the conversation to get mentally ready, but don't obsess over the details.
   • "I think you're awesome, and I really like you."
   • "What I'm trying to say is I like you. Do you want to go out on a date?"
   • "Hey ______. I don't usually go up to girls and say this, but I really like you."
2. Wait to tell her until the two of you are alone and she is in a good, stress-free mood. It may be more embarrassing for the both of you if other people are around, and it puts pressure on her for a response. Find a time and place where you are both relaxed, happy, and relatively alone. Consider telling her "I wanted to talk to you, can we meet after school?" and just pick a place and a time.
3. Talk to her in person instead of through text, the internet, or a phone call. Most girls prefer talking face-to-face, so try not to call her on the phone. If you call her on the phone, she might think that you aren't confident enough to ask her in person.
   • If the phone is the only way you can find yourself asking her, then go for it. Know, however, that you'll always make a bigger impression in person.
   • Asking a friend to do it for you has a high chance of backfiring. Again, she might think you aren't confident enough to tell her in person.
   • Don't tell her over IM or chat, if at all possible. Telling her to her face makes you seem more brave and confident but it also shows her that you respect her.
4. Know that an open, honest discussion is far more important than any big surprise. Don't be anyone you're not. Let the real you shine through because there's a much bigger chance she'll like the real you than someone you pretend to be for her sake or someone else's.
   • Don't be cheesy with her! Try not to say anything too flirty, because she might not know whether you actually mean it. She might even think you were just teasing her (trying to look cool or something, etc.) and get upset at you. Don't keep her guessing. Be absolutely real and truthful. She'll appreciate this more than anything.
   • Do not say anything stupid unless you are absolutely sure she is going to laugh. Otherwise, it just makes the situation more awkward for you. If you think you can make her laugh at a good joke, don't be afraid to work it in. Girls love a sense of humor. It shows her that you like having fun.
5. Look at her in the eyes. You're not talking to the ground, so don't stare at it! Looking her in the eyes has a way of telling her that you're completely focused on her and that she grabs your attention like no other person. Plus, it'll give her a chance to stare into your eyes, too, and lots of girls think that the eyes are the most attractive part of the face.
6. Just come out and say it! This won't get any easier, unfortunately. So just get out with it. You don't need to look like Tom Cruise, talk like Shakespeare, or plan a wedding proposal -- you just have to say "I like you." If you're struggling, count to five in your head. Tell yourself that, no matter what, you're going to say the words when you finish:
   • "I really like you."
   • "I was hoping we could go on a date sometime."
   • "Let's try to be more than friends."
7. Let her respond on her own instead of asking for a response. While this is hard for you, remember that you're dropping a pretty big bomb on her as well. She needs time to think about your words, and you asking questions or butting in doesn't help. Even if she does like you back, it's not always easy to say that you like someone, or maybe she hasn't really thought about it yet. Don't force her to make a decision. Instead, ask her out on a date; this allows her to find out whether she likes you if she doesn't already know.

Preparing for a Yes

1. Have a game plan. If she says "yes"...Lucky you! You're probably a pretty special person and she thinks that you have a lot to offer her. At the very least, she's interested in you and wants to get to know you better. Have a game plan for a date or at least calling her, or else you might make her wonder if you've reconsidered later.
2. Flirt with her through eye-contact, light touching, and smiles. Don't be afraid to flirt with her a little. When you say goodbye to her, smile, touch her lightly on the back and say, "Cool. I'm glad you said yes. I'll call you about the movie. What's your number?" Once you've made the connection, be sure to follow up on it a bit!
   • Flirting is supposed to be subtle. You really don't need to change that much about yourself other than the occasional physical contact and willingness to hold eye contact longer. No need to over think it!
3. Don't try to rush through things. Remember, girls sometimes move a little slower than guys, so don't expect to be kissing her the next day. If you get a chance to at the movies — or wherever you have the date — give her a little kiss, but don't expect her to want to move as quickly as you might. Remember, you'll probably get more of what you want by making her feel comfortable, so be patient.
4. Continue building the relationship as friends first, and a couple second. You want to be a good friend, otherwise the romance will fall to pieces. Make sure you talk, hang out, and stay true to yourself and your other friends. Just because she said yes doesn't mean you need to be smothering each other all of a sudden.
   • Make time together at least once a week.
   • Plan dates together.
   • Continue seeing your friends and following your daily life -- she fell for you, not a puppy who only follows her around!

Preparing for a No

1. Know that you did everything in your power, and be proud of your courage. Telling someone you like them is really, really hard. Not everyone has the strength to go through with it. At the end of the day, however, you were open and honest enough to take a risk. She might not have felt that connection, but you better believe other women will.
2. Understand that arguing or getting angry fixes nothing in this situation. Don't try to make her feel bad, because she'll get angry that you're doing that; she won't suddenly like you even as a friend. Remember, people are attracted to happy, playful, funny people. Try to look at life in a happy, playful, funny way, even if it seems like there's no reason to at the moment.
3. Give her some space for a few weeks. There is no beating around the bush -- it will be awkward for a bit. Give her time, to get to know you better or to show her all you have to offer her. You might have a chance with her in the future, but you won't if you're super creepy about it. If she feels like you're clingy or stalking her, you're going to seriously hurt your chances. Focus on being a good friend and don't make her feel like you have expectations.
   • If she changes her mind about how she feels about you, she'll probably be more willing to make the first move, so just wait it out.
   • You put yourself out there openly and honestly -- you should be proud of yourself.
4. Be open to other opportunities. If you don't think she'll ever give you a chance, let life show you who else is beautiful. There are lots of people out there who you might be compatible with; try to open your eyes to new possibilities. Life is too short to chase after someone who doesn't see your merits. If you are truly meant to be, she will come back to you now that she knows you like her.

Tips

• Don't hesitate. Once you're there, you're committed - don't beat around the bush and waste a lot of time. Be frank and come right to the point.
• Take any natural opportunity for contact. If you can brush her hand with yours, or are sitting close enough to press your knee against hers, go for it. Just remember that while the touch feels electrifying to you, until you know how she feels, don't assume it's the same for her. Watch for signs that your touch was welcomed or unwelcomed, and act accordingly from that point on.
• Don't be afraid of rejection. It hurts, but you won't die from it.
• Don't make her feel like she has to be with you, and respect her decision. In other words, if she does not return your feelings, don't sulk or cry and putting yourself down; there are plenty of other fish in sea.
• If the chemistry isn't quite there on her side at the start, wait a while and try to cultivate a friendship first.
• Don't Stress. No girl likes a guy who's overly stressed out. It makes you look like you can't handle things. She won't want to babysit with you.
• Use positive thoughts when talking to her, tell yourself "she's going to say yes" instead of "what if"...? This will calm your nerves down.
• Don't think about what you're going to say next until she's done talking - listen to what she says and make sure she knows you really care about what she's saying.
• One tip is if she wants to come over make sure your whole house is clean and tidy making her feel like you can take care of yourself.
• Understand that if you are friends that it can affect the relationship that you have, so really ask yourself if telling her that you like her is worth the relationship that you already have.

Warnings

• If she says "no", understand that you can always try again with another girl that you like. But if she wants to give you a chance and she finds out that you already asked someone else out, she will feel as if you really didn't mean it. Give it at least a month before trying with someone else.
• Don't hold a grudge against her - not every pair is a match. If you can still be friends, go for it. If you can't, don't force it.
• If she is already going out with someone else wait for when she can really get to know you better. If she is dating someone else don't just break them up they will not be together forever. If they don't break up soon just show the girl you're better than that guy.

Related Articles

• Look Appealing in Front of Your Crush
• Tell a Girl You Like Her in a Letter
• Tell a Girl You Like Her

Sources and Citations

See also

• Keep the Conversation Flowing with a Girl (for Guys)
• Improve Your Chances of Getting a Date with the Girl You Want (for Teens)
• Drop Hints to a Girl That You Like Her
• Talk to a Girl You Like for the First Time
• Tell if a Girl Likes You in School
• Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy
• Win a Teenage Girl's Heart
• Attract a Younger Girl That Barely Knows You
• Attract a Christian Girl
• Know if a Girl in Middle School Likes You

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What links here

• Tell a Guy You Like Him
• Ask a Girl for a Kiss
• Attract a Younger Girl That Barely Knows You
• Look Appealing in Front of Your Crush
• Tell a Girl You Like Her in a Letter
• Tell a Person You Like Them
• Win a Teenage Girl's Heart